Heeelp! Fanfic Dilemma

[tj_teejay]

I suppose this is a entry mostly addressed to my fic-writing friends. I'm in a bit of a dilemma, and maybe you guys have some helpful feedback for me. So I'm writing this story right now. I kinda doubt (m)any of you will know the fandom. Yet another obscure Canadian TV show from a few years ago with pretty much zero fandom. It's called Whistler (yes, after the skiing resort in BC). But that's actually only circumstantial.

Most of you know me as being partial to whumpy scenarios. And this is kind of a whumpy problem. The show actually did the whumping for me, cause the series ended on a huge cliffhanger for the pairing I'm writing for. A truck plowed into their car, and we don't find out what happened after that. But that's actually also circumstantial.

What I'm struggling with is the damn hospital conversation, in particular the one after character x wakes up from three days of unconsciousness. I've already given my best to forego the much cliched character-wakes-up-to-find-lover-by-bedside scenario by having character x wake up while character y isn't there, but she of course goes there after the hospital calls to say character x has regained consciousness. Cue awkward conversation with character x loaded to the gills with sedatives and pain meds.

You know, it's not so much that I don't think I can write it. It's more that I've already written it too often, for other fandoms (i.e. White Collar). And I just feel like I'm repeating myself a hundred times over, and I'm bored with it and frustrated with myself over it. Sure, I could just skip that part and move on a week or so, but that'd feel like a cop-out.

It always annoys me that on most TV shows, when a character wakes up after serious trauma, they're immediately fully alert, they don't seem to be in any pain, and they can hold a perfectly lucid and long conversation. Yeah, not exactly real life, people, right? But the thing is that real life is often not very good drama, which I'm pretty sure is why the TV shows tend to gloss over that part. My problem is that I want to write realistically, but I also want to write halfway interesting drama. And finding a middle ground there is so very difficult.

So, what are your experiences? Any helpful hints you might have for me? Anyone wanna write the scene for me? ;-)

Comments

[zou2.livejournal.com]

Not sure exactly what "vibe" you are going for with the scene but here are a few ideas that have popped into my head. Some are rather amusing but I'm just trying to remember some instances of personal experience I've had personally.

1.) Patient is fuzzy and confused and continues to have the same, but slightly different, conversation over and over again...sort of groundhog day ish.

2. Patient is fuzzy and confuses who is who and is having rather inappropriate conversations with people...who don't want to upset the patient so "go along" with it and it leads to some amusing moments and some rather heartwarming results at times.

3. Patient is effected by the drugs and comes out of it with a very different personality eg. teary, angry, belligerent etc....whatever it is it is not normal but there is nothing to be done except wait for the mental confusion to clear...which can sometimes take days.

4. Patient is on drugs and fuzzy and has no verbal filter so just blurts out whatever comes to mind. This can be hurtful, emotional and/or hysterically funny...or a combination of all.

Hope some of this is helpful. Bonne Chance

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

LOL! Okay, most of those are a little more on the humorous side. I mean, more humorous than I think I want my scenario to be. I might just go with not much of a conversation at all and just have character x drift off after a few small-talk like questions. But those are definitely great, and I will keep them in mind for future reference! Thank you!!

[winterstar95.livejournal.com]

I have to admit that is one of the reasons I am finding it hard to write my usual h/c for White Collar. I mean how many times can you write the hospital scene?

My only advice is to make it like glimpses really....like the person is waking then sleeping and dream and nightmare is mixed with reality????

[zou2.livejournal.com]

Sorry they weren't what you were looking for at this time but in my experience confusion and everything that can come from that is the most realistic thing that you get from a newly conscious person. I know my step father confused family members and even asked my mother where her accent was from despite the fact they had been married 10 years and he knew she was from France. He also asked if some folks were coming to visit who had been dead for years, like his parents and a younger brother. We were afraid to tell him they were dead so just said they would come later and eventually he remembered they were gone.


Best of luck and maybe I'll see some of these in a WC fic in the future.

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

The thing is that I'm writing this more from the POV of the person visiting, so I don't know how the dreaming would fit in. But it's definitely good feedback, something I will consider for the future, cause I'm sure it's not the last hospital fic I'm gonna be writing. :-)

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

Personal experience is great, and I'm really glad you posted this. I might still rework my story to fit some of your advice in. You're giving me great ideas to have other people than character y visiting the patient, and some of this will definitely come in handy. I quite like the mixing up of people idea, or the change of personality.

Not quite sure I'm gonna write more WC fic, though. I didn't really like season 3 a lot, and I like season 4 even less, for various reasons. I also feel like I've done everything with the characters in fanfic that I've ever wanted to do with them. Sadly, the White Collar magic is gone for me. But never say never, right?

Again, thank you so much for your helpful comments. It's always the best thing if you can use something that's drawn from personal experience, be it your own or someone else's.

The only personal experience I have with this kind of situation is when two friends of mine were struck by lightning (no joke!). One of them had a rupture in his kidney and had to stay in the ICU for a few days, the other had severe burns to her legs which had her hospitalized for two months. However, I saw neither of them immediately after surgery, and they were both a lot more alert than what I'm writing. But, yes, I can definitely corroborate the groundhog day scenario, because both my friends kept telling me things that they had told me before. It felt a little like talking to my grandmother when she had Alzheimer's, but of course with my friends, they returned to normal when they came off the sedatives and painkillers.

(Just FYI: They both made it through their accident with varying degrees of permanent damage, but they were both incredibly lucky and are doing well.)

[lomer.livejournal.com]

After I had surgery I mainly had no social filter. So when my nurse Candy told her her name, I told her "your parents must have hated you!" I thought I was being hilarious, but yeah... that was mean.

When I was sedated for wisdom tooth extraction, I had a panic attack and they had to wake me up and stop the extraction. When they said they couldn't continue, I just started crying and promising I'd be good and I could do better. Basically I reverted to a teary 3 year old. (And I still have two of my four wisdom teeth because they wouldn't finish.)

Basically everything gets fuzzy when you wake up, and it doesn't feel real (sort of like the seconds before falling asleep or waking up). There's just no filter so whatever pops into your head gets said out loud, and whatever emotion you feel is heightened.

[rabidchild.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm with you and dmk - how many times can you write that one damn scene?

So to make it fresh for myself, I pick a different perspective. What if the entire interchange was dialogue-free? Just looks and emotions and, IDK, breathing? What if it was from a 3rd party's POV, like a nurse or other character out in the hallway?

Another thing I'll do is focus on is a character's VERY specific experience - they're staring at the ceiling and seeing shapes of odd things and it's totes surreal. Or a very literal description of what being on those drugs feels like. Or the opposite of that - grand metaphor of floating in the sea. Or my personal fave, the forgetfulness of a person in this position, the rambly dialogue and etc. Hey, what if (amd now that I've thought of it i might just have to use it) the person in the bed THINKS they're having this convo, but they're just so out of it they're not really speaking? Another fave of mine is THE DRUGS STOPPED WORKING and the person's in a great deal of pain, which amps up the angst/emotion until a nurse can be summoned to remedy it.

[iamhere23.livejournal.com]

Hi! I don't know if I have any scenes in mind for you, but I can tell you about my personal experience. I've had brain surgery three times and I can say that I always wake up confused and in pain. The weird thing for me is that two of those times I didn't want to see anyone at all, not even my family. Anything everyone said just annoyed me and I just wanted to feel comfortable, but even with the pain killers I was still uncomfortable. I dozed in and out a lot, and when people came by I pretended to sleep if I wasn't sleeping. I puked a lot because of a reaction to the anesthetics. Everyone kept telling me I was okay and that the surgery was alright and I really didn't care, I just wanted to be anywhere but there.
In my country, they don't let anyone see you until you regain consciousness at least once, so the first time you wake up from a serious surgery you're basically alone, very cold, in pain, and confused.
Don't know if that helps, but I know most people really want to wake up to someone being there for them, but when I woke up and was left alone for a while I always felt a bit of relief.

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

Heheh, I don't have a ton of personal experience with that sort of situation, beyond waking up after having my wisdom teeth removed and feeling the need to apologize to all the nurses because I was being clumsy and less than helpful.

Of course, others in my family have more spectacular stories, such as my mom - who, while on pain meds, wound up patting her doctor's cheeks - and my uncle - who wound up nearly in tears after having a tooth removed, because the people at the dentist's office didn't understand that if they didn't give him back the tooth then the tooth fairy wouldn't come... XD

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

Hee, that sounds like great opportunities for humorous fic. I will definitely keep that in mind. The fuzzy bit helps a lot, so I shall use that for the stuff I have yet to write. Thank you!!

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

Yeah, man, how many times?! But, well, at least now it's with different characters, so at least that's new.

My problem is that most of what you lovely, awesome, wonderful guys have offered is from the injured person's perspective, and I'm writing the visitor's POV. But it's still really helpful, and will definitely keep all of this in mind. Thank you!

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

Personal experience is great. Well, no, that came out wrong -- so I hope everything turned out okay for you, cause brain surgery sounds really scary. But I still appreciate to hear about what that's like, because it's incredibly helpful for hopefully writing something that's rooted in reality.

Not sure I wanna go there with the puking thing, but I can definitely work in the wanting to be alone, or at least mention that at some point. Thank you!

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

LOL! Those are wonderful stories for a good chuckle, but I'm not sure I really want something this humorous. But I will definitely keep it in mind for future reference. :-) Thanks!

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

Aha. ^^ Well, I know that there is a lot of variation between individuals for reactions to the same types of drugs, even, so you do have quite a bit of room for tailoring things. I don't know anything about the exact dynamics between the characters, but it might make for an interesting spin if the drugs made the character really angry and verbally aggressive - that happened with a friend of mine after his wisdom tooth surgery. Could add an opportunity for some unexpected tension?

In any case, good luck with it! I'm right there with you in getting frustrated with recovery scenarios. It can be really hard to find a direction that feels interesting and new. :P

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

Yes, I was actually toying with the idea of Peter (that's the patient's name) reacting a lot more emotional than usual after someone else also mentioned it. I quite like the angry/belligerent angle. See, this couple is actually quite interesting to write, because we don't know that much about them.

In a nutshell: Jen was married to Ethan whom she had two kids with (played by the lovely Nicholas Lea, no less). She cheated on Ethan with Peter a few years back, but even though they loved each other, it never went anywhere because Peter left to travel the world (and made the decision for her). Then Ethan gets shot and dies, and about a year after that, Peter comes back into her life.

Turns out they never really stopped loving each other, so they get back together for a few, short weeks. Then Peter has to go back to New York for his work, but because Jen is afraid he'll just go and not come back, almost on a whim, Peter asks her to marry him. And they do, that same night. The next day Jen takes Peter to the airport, and a truck plows right into the driver's side of Jen's car. That's where the show ends when it got cancelled.

It kept nagging at me, because I really wanted to know if they would have lived, so I sent Russ Cochrane, one of the show's writers whom I found on Twitter, a message to ask if he could tell me. And he said Jen would have lived for sure, but he wasn't sure about Peter. However, Jen had already had two big losses (her son and her husband), thus pretty much saying that if they'd let Peter die, it would have been too cruel.

I responded to Russ, saying that he was putting interesting fan fiction ideas in my head, and he said I should go for it. Officially endorsed fan fiction, how could I refuse?

But, yeah, to come back to the hospital stuff... Jen and Peter were intimate a few years back (not sure just how intimate beyond the physical part), then didn't see each other for years, and now just got back together a few weeks ago. It could be really interesting to explore the grittier stuff by having Peter react emotionally unexpected, because I think they're both still trying to get to know the other person, or get to know the person they've changed into over the last few years.

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

Mm, yeah, from that description a more angry/tense scenario might make for some very interesting interaction. Possibly partially with some confusion on the timeline coming in? (For instance, if things got blurred for him and he briefly thought Ethan was still alive, and therefore she shouldn't be there for fear of his finding out... Dunno how well that'd work within the circumstances, but a thought.)

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

Hey, that gives me all kinds of ideas. I kinda wrote an aftereffects scene last night, where Jen is home crying because Peter said all these mean things to her (without actually giving away what he said), and her son Quinn finds her on the couch and they talk. I suppose I could just leave it like that, but I might just take a stab at writing the actual dialogue between Jen and Peter.

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

Awesome, I'm glad you were able to get things moving! Sometimes all it takes is one angle your mind can latch on to as interesting to get the rest flowing more smoothly. :)

[tj-teejay.livejournal.com]

Yes, that helps a great deal, although I'm actually writing this from the visiting person's POV and not the patient's. But this will definitely come in handy in the grand scheme of things. Thank you!